Thought I’d get into the festive spirit (albeit belatedly) with a post on breastfeeding. First one to call me scrooge is a puritan…
I follow various chatroom forums, and from time to time on each of them the age old ‘bottle vs breast feeding’ issue comes up. Each time it starts out in a relatively friendly manner and degenerates into a kind of shouty, rabid, placard waving, frothing at the mouth ‘Bottle feeding is the work of the devil’ level of debate. As such I thought that the best thing that I could do would be to add my (ahem) learned and thought provoking views…
In the first place – my credentials; I breastfed Senara for 20 months and at the moment I intend to breastfeed No 2 for as long as we both can stand it. However Senara was not completely breastfed, as I found breastfeeding physically painful, particularly in the first few months when milk was her only food. During this period she had some bottles, giving me a chance to heal from the wear and tear on my body. I would have continued with the bottles for longer, but Senara gave up on them, refusing to drink from them and eventually poking them out of her mouth with her tongue.
In addition I disliked strongly what breast feeding did to my body – I disliked leaky patches during the day and at night, I disliked the necessity of round the clock bras and breast pads, I disliked that my body was no longer exclusively mine and I resented how unattractive I felt as a result of all this.
As such I believe in breastfeeding hypothetically, when I am not physically exhausted from dealing with a newborn, when I am not on an emotional rollercoaster and when it does not involve my body. Sadly I agree with it less when I am struggling to cope emotionally and physically, and the good principles behind breastfeeding fail to provide any comfort.
I found that breastfeeding was a struggle, and can do nothing but sympathise with those who let it go early on in order to help themselves cope with new-parenthood. I believe that in the mire of dirty nappies, sleepless nights and restless days all of us let something go, whether it be the cooking, cleaning, self-maintenance, sanity or whatever. If giving up helps a struggling parent to cope better in the fuzz of the zombie period, then I cannot see any grounds for criticism – they are doing the best they feel capable of. It’s not that I would encourage people to give up breast feeding – I obviously believe in it or I wouldn’t have persevered for so long. It’s just that I understand why people stop, and cannot see that any extra condemnation will reduce that bag of guilt that most new parents carry around with them regardless.
So if you are one of the shouty placard wavers who can fell the froth ready to explode from your mouth – please think before you condemn others. Either you are next to God in your perfection or you did things that others would not consider good for their children; and if so what right do you have to preach?
