Here goes: What’s the difference between a credit crunch and a recession?

You got it yet?

Here’s a clue - four letters

Any guesses?

Not S, T, U, D.

Okay here it is

S, P, I , N.

Now you have to guess which labour politician’s joke it is…

My sister’s photo has been classed as one of the most inspired in The Guardian’s Unseen Britain competition, which has impressed me at least! I quite like the juxtaposition between the add slogan and the insert, but the black and white (yellow?) photo looks quite freaky from this angle!

Thought I’d get into the festive spirit (albeit belatedly) with a post on breastfeeding. First one to call me scrooge is a puritan…

I follow various chatroom forums, and from time to time on each of them the age old ‘bottle vs breast feeding’ issue comes up. Each time it starts out in a relatively friendly manner and degenerates into a kind of shouty, rabid, placard waving, frothing at the mouth ‘Bottle feeding is the work of the devil’ level of debate. As such I thought that the best thing that I could do would be to add my (ahem) learned and thought provoking views…

In the first place - my credentials; I breastfed Senara for 20 months and at the moment I intend to breastfeed No 2 for as long as we both can stand it. However Senara was not completely breastfed, as I found breastfeeding physically painful, particularly in the first few months when milk was her only food. During this period she had some bottles, giving me a chance to heal from the wear and tear on my body. I would have continued with the bottles for longer, but Senara gave up on them, refusing to drink from them and eventually poking them out of her mouth with her tongue.

In addition I disliked strongly what breast feeding did to my body - I disliked leaky patches during the day and at night, I disliked the necessity of round the clock bras and breast pads, I disliked that my body was no longer exclusively mine and I resented how unattractive I felt as a result of all this.

As such I believe in breastfeeding hypothetically, when I am not physically exhausted from dealing with a newborn, when I am not on an emotional rollercoaster and when it does not involve my body. Sadly I agree with it less when I am struggling to cope emotionally and physically, and the good principles behind breastfeeding fail to provide any comfort.

I found that breastfeeding was a struggle, and can do nothing but sympathise with those who let it go early on in order to help themselves cope with new-parenthood. I believe that in the mire of dirty nappies, sleepless nights and restless days all of us let something go, whether it be the cooking, cleaning, self-maintenance, sanity or whatever. If giving up helps a struggling parent to cope better in the fuzz of the zombie period, then I cannot see any grounds for criticism - they are doing the best they feel capable of. It’s not that I would encourage people to give up breast feeding - I obviously believe in it or I wouldn’t have persevered for so long. It’s just that I understand why people stop, and cannot see that any extra condemnation will reduce that bag of guilt that most new parents carry around with them regardless.

So if you are one of the shouty placard wavers who can fell the froth ready to explode from your mouth - please think before you condemn others. Either you are next to God in your perfection or you did things that others would not consider good for their children; and if so what right do you have to preach?

Short answer: Not along the narrow path.

For those interested in a little more pontification, read on…

‘The Golden Compass’ opens in the UK at the end of the week, to wide interest and some acclaim. Starring among others Nicole Kidman, Daniel Craig, Eva Green and Ian MacKellan, it is set to be a Christmas blockbuster. Based on ‘Northern Lights’ by Phillip Pullman it sets out a fantastical parallel zone in which a young girl takes on and saves the world.

The original book is an imaginative, creative and well-written adventure, which has depth and is thought provoking. As a text it easily out strips the Harry Potter books in terms of its complexity and the references upon which it draws. Pullman is clearly a very capable and intelligent writer, able to weave together many threads of plot and ideas into an easily readable and fascinating story.

I like the books, as maybe you have guessed, but not a lot. I would say that there is a lot to recommend them (see above) and that as texts worthy of study at ‘A’ or even degree level they offer a rich mine of discussion. However I would qualify this by saying that I find that there is a dark soul at the heart of The Dark Materials trilogy. I find that the conclusion to the books brings no hope, just a fantasy that humanity can build something powerful on its own. Yes, there are pockets of people who are capable of that when working together (I think that the Tower of Babel shows this). However society is full of the self-serving and narcissistic - myself included- and I see no hope in a world of which this is a part. This is particularly true of the fantasy world of the books, where I found very few of the characters sympathetic. A republic of heaven full of the arrogance and selfishness they show sounds more like an abyss to me. In addition I find the idea of being dust after death no comfort. I do not want to be what is dumped on a landfill or messed up with the eternal being of others, I want to be me, and am happy to be immortalised as just that.

It is said that Pullman wrote Northern Lights, The Subtle Knife and The Amber Spyglass as a response to the Narnia Chronicles, in order to offer an atheistic fable for children. In the first case I would say that they do not represent a fable so much as a morality tale. There is something very didactic about the writing style of the texts which allows for no views of any worth, and therefore no discussion of the opinions they contain, other than the narrator’s own. Characters who hold different view points are necessarily evil; the church is evil, Mrs Coulter is evil - at the end I felt I had spent 3 rounds being pummelled by Pullman in order to accept his beliefs as true, and there is an arrogance in that. In this sense it is a children’s story, in that it does not give the reader space to think for themselves. In the second case though, it is clearly not a book written for children. Many of the references the book draws on (the enlightenment, Judao-Christian beliefs, etc) would be lost on your average 12 year old. In addition, a lot of the content of the books portray images that are violent and cause fear or upset, thus making them unsuitable for younger readers. As such I would question Pullman’s motives in writing these books. Maybe he sees Narnia books as a violent and aggressive brainwashing of children (I am sure there is some scope for these views), and if so his books represent an equal an opposite reaction to Narnia. Otherwise he has overstepped his mark - in short he has missed his own point - as whereas the Narnia Chronicles are suitable for junior age readers, I would be unwilling to give the Dark Materials trilogy to anyone under KS4 age.

In answer to my own question then, the compass not so much points away from the God of the Bible, but drags the readers there whether that is where they choose to be or not. There is no redemption in the books, just rebuilding using the same old materials.

As such, be wise. Read the books yourself, disagree with me if you wish, but decide what you make of them before you give them to a child to decipher. And be prepared to discuss and explain the information therein.

One final, unmissable, irony which Pullman above all others must be aware of: he is The Authority in his own created world. Without a god his world ceases to exist. And the dark soul at the dark heart is his too.

A friend from Church has been jetting between Brussels and Woodford recently, as she has been taking part in various consultations for the European Union. This has ignited a passion for politics in her, resulting in a star turn on the podium of a recent EU conference (and her husband’s new nickname for her of ‘podium chaser’). The following correspondence is a result of all this!

Dear Ms. P. Chaser,

I am writing following your recent star performance in Brussels, as I believe that someone of your talents and drive is in need of a personal assistant in order to help you keep abreast of your commitments and the demands of your political life. I am that person.

I have a wide variety of experience in customer service, as I had a variety of jobs all of which I have changed promptly (they were not truly utilising my many talents). As a result I have worked as a Saturday girl in many high street shops. I have also worked the night shift on the maternity ward at my local hospital, and I have worked at my local Esso garage.

From my retail experience I have learned that the customer is rarely right, and that if you are willing to raise your voice they will generally change their minds and agree with you. Particularly if you punch your fist into your hand at the same time. I have also found that generally people are quite patient, especially if you are just finishing your quick chat to your mate before you serve them. From my time at the hospital, I have become immune to the cries of people in pain, and suffering from sleep deprivation; and able to dispense advise about something of which I have no experience from the hip - both of which I’m sure you will agree are very useful in politics. Finally from working in the petrol station I have learnt how to be a fire-starter - need I say more?

I left full time schooling in 1991 (aged 16), but have continued my studies in a more informal manner. I am a student of the great Pierangelo Isernia, and am capable of insightful and razor sharp sound bites (cf ‘Europe is not interesting because it is boring.’)

In my spare time I like to keep my mind active, with which I find both the Daily Mail and Richard and Judy very helpful. As a result I have a broad and general knowedge - I can discuss the past lives of the rich and famous, the state of the nation and changes in Richard’s hair style with great authority. I am additionally able to give detailed analysis of most episodes of Columbo.

As I sure you will agree, having read this resume of my skills, I am a goldmine of an employee. However I am currently taking time out from my career in order to give employers an opportunity to hire me, and I am giving you first dibs. Please do not take too long to make a decision, as I am awaiting responses from the many other employers I have contacted. You snooze, you lose.

Many thanks for taking the time to read this letter, I look forward to hearing from you (promptly).

Regards,

A. Campbell.

Dear Ms. (? unless a boy can be a Saturday girl in this day and age) A. Campbell,

Thankyou for your email to Ms. Chaser. I handed in my notice as soon as I had read it. Furthermore, when Ms. Chaser read it, she was crying with laughter. Seeing as how she has never even smiled at me once, I realised that I will never be able to make her happy. I must warn you, she is a cruel taskmistress who doesn’t even let her employees turn up to work in their pyjamas, never mind watch more than four hours’ worth of daytime tv per shift.

Just a personal observation: I think you are over-qualified by far for the job of Ms. Chaser’s assistant, however your best selling point is that you would be able to stop her getting a big head. If it’s not too late already.

Can you start right away?

Best,

Miss B. Haviour

Dear Ms B. Haviour,

Many thanks for your quick and enlightening response. I did not realise that the working conditions would be so harsh. Sadly I have a malingering complaint which means I am only able to dress in pyjamas and have to watch a minimum of four hours daytime tv monday - friday. Unless Ms. Chaser is able to accomodate this disability I will regretfully have to withdraw my application (and will subsequently sue her for discrimination).

Many thanks again for your time and help,

A. Campbell.

I just wanted to highlight the current protests in Rangoon over the continued leadership of the military junta there, regardless of the outcome of previous democratic elections. I don’t understand the ins and outs of the situation, but do understand that the ruling government are threatening violence, of which they have proved themselves highly capable in the past. As this peaceful protest was begun by the Buddhist monks of the country who have since been joined by members of the populace this seems like an over reaction in the extreme.

*edit*

Violence erupted today (26/09) after the army used tear gas to disperse the protesters. At least 200 monks have been arrested, 1 protester killed and 17 others injured. According to eye witness reports monks and nuns staging a peaceful protest were beaten up by riot police, and then the tear gas released. International condemnation has been quick, with other world leaders calling for discussion of this issue by the UN security council. May the resolution be quick and freedoms we take for granted be given to the people of Burma promptly.

Sign the petition here.

Haven’t blogged for ages, and I’m afraid this entry is hardly ground breaking, especially as I can’t yet add any more photos to Flickr. Ah well that will come, bate your breath now!

Anyway, for those interested in my (our?)lives rather than political views, here are a few of the things that have been happening in the last few months.

1. Meg finished her A levels and is now studying Creative Advertising Design at Lincoln. She seems to be enjoying it all, hallelujah!
2. Just before she left she was baptised, which was great!
3. Sam, Senara and Char are all doing what they were doing before, but assure us they are doing it well.
4. We didn’t go on holiday in the summer. Boo hoo.
5. Paula (my cousin) and Tom got married at the weekend, which was utterly lovely. Sadly it leaves me with a big gap in my life (now the wedding planning is at an end) and no idea how to fill it… Any offers?
6. I joined facebook… what can I say, I’m down there with the young people. At least I feel less middle aged than I did on myspace (I never got that). If you’re on facebook, you might even find me! I’ve been tagged in all the best photos…
7. I think I’ve told most people, but for those I’ve forgotten firstly apologies, it’s entirely accidental, and secondly baby no. 2 is due next year. Now the wedding is over I have time to be excited. I’m a little worried that all the wedding stress will have made the baby neurotic though. Ho hum…

Anyway best wishes (especially if you are reading this randomly and have no idea who I am!) and take care!

The meeting last Sunday made it into the local paper - read more here!

Righty ho, no point shilly-shallying around the issue - I may as well get straight to the point!

For anyone not currently living in Redbridge, the local council are currently following a plan of hard sell. Sadly not of themselves, instead of the spare spaces in the borough. It is currently proposing the sale of three car parks in South Woodford,  and one in Woodford (all are regularly used). There are additional places up for grabs to the right developer, but the main ones concerning me at then moment are the allotments. Altogether five sites across Redbridge are threatened by sale including the one that I am on.

I have no beef with a council seeking to sell of a little of its land for development assuming that the circumstances are right. However like a lot of London, Redbridge is largely built up and is getting more so ( I can think of 3 building sites within walking distance to me - one of them for 1000 new homes), and Redbridge council selling up the borough wholesale is unnecessary over development.

I could pontificate for a long time on the rights and wrongs (don’t get me started - I probably will!) In terms of the allotments I have several concerns, beyond this over development of the borough. Mainly these are that the council has kept allotmentees in the dark about what their plans are, and have treated them with a lack of respect. There is no clear plan as to how allotmentees will be provided for should the sale go ahead, and more importantly no mention made of new allotment sites being provided. This is key, as statutory allotments come with the proviso that if they are developed/ sold/ whatever then the council must provide an alternative new site of at least equal size. My main concern is that the council are knowingly acting illegally, but are hoping that their residents will overlook it; and if people do overlook it, then the council set a precedent that other councils can follow with their own job lots of council land.

Apologies if this is all a bit convoluted and a bit conspiracy theory, I will try to be more lucid in future! In the meantime, if you are interested in doing your bit please sign this petition currently before the PM, stating your opposition to the sale of sites in Redbridge, including the allotments. Many thanks for you support if you do!

Sign the petition here!

Okay, okay, I know it’s a sad day when the most exciting thing in my life is a TV programme - but what can I say, it’s addictive!

For those that have been living on the other side of the moon for the last three months, ‘The Apprentice’ finished last night with the boss (Siralan as the contestants know him) choosing Simon to be his next sidekick. Really all that can be said has been said on the subject, but I thought I’d add my pennyworth nonetheless:

Firstly Should Kristina have won instead? Well, I don’t really know. She probably deserved to win more, having dragged herself up by the ankles following a teenage pregnancy. To have put herself through university, been successful both personally and professionally and to have brought up her son (now 1 on her own is something I can only lay tribute to. In addition she has shown herself to be a person of dignity and integrity through refusing to be drawn into pointless arguments with other contestants. Definitely a deserving winner, and definitely someone destined to succeed in spite of the setback of being second.

So should Simon have won? Well, he’s not as obviously capable Kristina - younger, inexperienced and immature and it showed. However, the show is called ‘The Apprentice’ and not ‘The Capable Worker’. Simon is moldable and has a lot more that he can learn from Sir Alan than Kristina, so the choice of him is understandable. If not right…

And what of the pantomime villain, she-who-must-not-be-named? Well, lest said the better really. However there are two plausible possibilities. One is that it’s all a publicity stunt in her own self-branding campaign. The fact that someone managed to get photos of her en flagrante seems to fit with this. Personally I think that whether this is a stunt or not on her part, she must be lacking in self-love and self-respect. The ruthless veneer she wears seems a kind of camouflage to stop others from being able to knock her for who she really is. Sadly, it is not the kind of veneer which will endear her to anyone, least of all herself.